Six tips for starting a new business

I've been away for a little while, and for a very good reason: We're going to have a baby!

Babies change your life, even before they arrive -- as I've found. That means being flexible and being open to a lot of new ideas.

Preparing for a baby is a bit like preparing for a business -- in overdrive. And preparing for a business, I've done. A baby, well, that's new.

But if you're launching a new business in today's economy -- maybe as a result of the economy -- a few tips that work for getting ready for a baby will also work for getting ready for a business. These tips can help you think ahead, relieve stress and enjoy this new phase in life when you start a new business!

Tips for birthing a business

1. Plan, plan, plan. It can be tempting to wing it, but winging it isn't your friend when it comes to getting ready for your new business. Consider your goals, finances and interests. Take the time to draw up a business plan -- even if it's brief. You can add to it later. Get your concept right -- know what your business is and focus on that.

2. Get your money right. Like preparing for a baby, preparing for a business means thinking about the financial impact of your decision. Whether you'll fund the business on your own or with the help of investors or others, you'll need to look at your money pretty closely. You'll find a host of new expenses come along with your new business. The adage that it takes money to make money really is true. But even if you don't have a lot of money, that's OK -- most folks don't. Manage what you have.

3. Name it right. Take some time to come up with a good name for your business. You wouldn't name your baby just any ol' thing, now would you? So why would you name your business any ol' thing? Choose a name that gives a clue to what the business is and sounds good. Look for a name your business can grow with -- you don't want to have to change it six months from now.

4. Be open to help. When it comes to a new baby, you don't mind taking the help of Grandma, Mama, friends who have had children. So why would your new business be different? Of course, you may not want to take the advice of folks who know nothing about business, but be open to help (advice and suggestions) from those who have experience. Read books, attend events, ask questions. Folks who have been there and done that can save you a lot of headache.

5. It's not about perfection. Just as raising a child isn't about perfection, neither is running a business. Remember the first tip? To plan, plan, plan? Well, not everything will go according to plan. That's OK. Be open to adjust. Be cool when things don't go the way you want. Learn from them and then go on. Don't dwell on mistakes or beat yourself up. Do your best and keep it moving.

6. You'll lose a lot of sleep. One thing new babies and new businesses have in common: those who bring them to life lose sleep. Maybe you'll be running your new business on the side while working a full-time gig elsewhere. Maybe you'll run your business full-time right away. Whatever the case, expect to spend long hours nurturing that business to growth and health.

I'll post helpful Knowledge Wealth Series articles as we get ready for the baby, though my schedule will be a bit unpredictable. I look forward to picking back up with a better schedule after the little one arrives (am I being really hopeful here?). And I hope you enjoy your own journey as you prepare for your new business. Let me know how it goes!

Use your experiences to build a business, help others

I work with lots of people who want to tell their stories. In many cases, these people feel their lives are so interesting that they must write books and share their experiences with others. The only problem is that most people's personal stories are interesting only to their friends and family. So I help these people turn their stories into books that can be of interest to a wider audience. I do this by looking beyond simply the person's story and seeing the needs of the reader.

Many people have experiences that teach them something, provide insight or give them a different perspective. In such an instance, sharing the story can be helpful to others. The key is to share the story in such a way that it engages the reader and helps the reader, and doesn't just drone on and on about the author's life or experiences. Unless you're a celebrity, the public most likely won't care enough about the mundane details of your life to read a whole book about it. No matter how interesting you think it is.

But this doesn't mean your story shouldn't be told. Just do what I just said: Tell it in a way that helps your reader, and doesn't just pump up your ego. Memoirs or personal stories must have the right elements.

Most people need help telling their stories in this way. So don't be afraid to reach out to a ghostwriter who can help you properly craft the story. When I am working on a ghostwriting project, I try to maintain the client's voice, tell his or her story AND make it a book that is actually marketable by tapping into universal themes and information to help the audience, the reader. It's not always an easy process, but so far, I've been able to turn every ghostwriting project, no matter how mundane the client's story, into something others would actually pay to read.

Our lives provide many opportunities for us to help others. Whether you are a professional, business owner, teacher, clergy member, activist or someone else with information and a passion, you can turn what you know into a new revenue stream for yourself and a tool to help others. Maybe this will be the start of a new business. Maybe it will be a timely addition to a business you already have. Or maybe it'll simply be a way for you to help others in the way you see fit.

Consider your own life. What you may have initially seen as a bunch of heartache and drama that you had to go through, may actually be the basis for helping others.

Did you go through a rough divorce and somehow managed to hold onto your sanity and now, you can actually have a decent conversation with your ex about the children? Maybe you have unique insight to help others navigate divorce and have an amicable relationship with the ex afterward.

Did you find yourself downsized, broke and bankrupt but now you've recovered financially? Maybe your experience gave you some practical tips that you can share with others to help them get through one of the most devastating times of their lives.

Maybe you had cancer and now you're in remission and living a whole different life. Perhaps your experience gave you a new perspective.

Any life-changing -- and quite frankly, painful -- life experience can get you thinking about writing a book. But the key to turning that experience and that book into something more people than just your friends will read is to relate it to others.

From there, you can build a business, organization or other idea around that experience or book. You may find that what you thought was the biggest mess of your life turns out to be the biggest blessing. If you do it right.

Jackson's career shows power of hard work

Cover of Thriller

Like the rest of the world, I find it hard to believe Michael Jackson is gone. It's always difficult to see people pass away seemingly before their time. I remember when Princess Diana died, I was as glued to the news stations as I've been with Michael.

As I think about Michael Jackson, for this blog post, I will focus on the impact of his work and not the controversies or scandals. The thing that made Michael Jackson a larger-than-life figure who is known the world over was his talent and his body of work.

From the time he started performing with his brothers as the child lead of The Jackson Five to the worldwide success of Thriller and other projects, Jackson was a man whose performances could rivet those who watched.

Even as he prepared for his comeback tour to start next month, reports said he rehearsed for six hours a day, all with a mind toward rocking his fans' world. He wasn't afraid of hard work, and that showed in the career he built.

What can we take from that? For one, we can take note of the fact that no matter how talented a person is, hard work is still necessary to produce extraordinary results. If the ever-talented Michael Jackson saw the need to put in countless hours of hard work to produce a certain result, then surely we can see a need to do the same.

This also is an encouraging point. It's encouraging because it lets us know that, even if we are not as talented as Michael, with a bit of hard work, we can produce some pretty good results of our own. When we look to start a new venture -- career, business or other pursuit -- we must know it takes more than just interest. We must be willing to follow that interest with some actual doing. Think about that the next time you're ready to start a new thing.

You probably know of some really talented people who didn't nearly live up to the hype -- or to your own estimation of what they could do. That's because talent alone is simply not enough. A person can be talented but lazy. Or talented but not very smart. On the other hand, you probably know of people who didn't seem to have much innate talent, but they were able to achieve a lot because they didn't mind working hard. Hard work can compensate for a lack of talent.

So as we reflect on the loss of a man who had great talent and worked hard to showcase it, let's take from his experience the knowledge that we too can excel in our chosen areas -- if we're willing to work.

So "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'?"

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• Singer Michael Jackson dies in LA (news.bbc.co.uk)
• Michael Jackson 'Dies Of Heart Attack' (news.sky.com)

Invest in your business and take it to the next level

Sometimes just hopping in and doing your thing is the best way to get started. But taking it to the next level -- setting yourself apart from the competition -- requires upping your game. And it means using expertise and higher skills to show you're serious.

When I self-published my first novel, I had to just jump in and do what I could to get going, doing everything myself, down to drawing and designing my first cover. But I knew I had to raise my standards if I wanted to be taken seriously for the long haul, so as soon as I could, I used what money I made and reinvested that into the business, hired a real designer and republished the book. I knew I needed to go to the professionals to get the look and quality I wanted.

What about you? Have you jumped into your new business, book or project by doing the best you can on your own? Are you ready to elevate your work and show your potential customers, clients or users that you are for real? If so, I have a special opportunity just for you.

I don't talk a lot about my business in this blog, but I just had to tell you about what RootSky Creative is doing. RootSky Creative, the parent company of the Knowledge Wealth Series, is a marketing and design company. It specializes in helping small businesses, organizations and individuals get their messages out in clear, concise and compelling ways. RootSky Creative writes, designs and produces books, Web sites, newsletters, brochures and a host of other marketing tools.

And for one day only -- June 10, 2009 -- RootSky Creative will create custom Web sites for $599, a huge discount off the regular $997 price. This is an opportunity for people who need quality Web site writing and design to get it, and at a steal. This package includes writing AND designing a five-page Web site, using Flash, photos, SEO writing, sound, etc., as needed. Because this is such a fantastic discount, it's available on a limited basis. I'm telling you today so you can get a jump. Just e-mail me at monica@rootskycreative.com for details and to lock in your special rate. All you have to do is sign your project agreement and pay the first half ($299.50) June 10 and you're all set to get a new, professional Web site to wow existing clients and woo new ones.

If you want to compete in today's economy, you've got to find a way to stand out. You can't keep working with the "make-do" attitude that got you started. You've got to invest in yourself and in your business so you exude an attitude of quality. Start with your Web site. E-mail me at monica@rootskycreative.com to claim your spot and get ready to take your work to the next level.

Free yourself from 'have-to' and focus on 'choose-to'

Do you ever feel as if you're stuck doing the same things over and over, things you feel you have to do? If you've ever said, "I have to do this," or "I have to do that," you'll want to check out the latest Knowledge Wealth Series newsletter. In it, I share why it's important to shift your thinking from "have to" to "choose to." If you want to take charge of your life, this is an essential mental shift.

Why? Because when we are constantly talking about what we have to do, it makes us feel like victims or prisoners of our circumstances. And nobody wants to feel that way. But when we begin to see everything we do as a choice, then we get a bit of pep in our step as we feel empowered to make choices that benefit us.

As a personal development author, I am often looking for ways we can make our lives better and get more enjoyment or improve our results. This is one mind shift we can make and begin to manifest positive changes in our lives, simply by realizing we can take charge.

Try this: The next time you are tempted to say "I have to do XYZ," stop and ask yourself, "Really? Do I really have to do this?" What would happen if you didn't do that thing? You might find the consequence of not doing it could be minor or you may find the consequence could be pretty big. But regardless, you'll likely find that you don't really have to do that thing. But because you prefer not to live with the consequences, you choose to do the thing.

Big difference between thinking in terms of have to and choose to.

So check out this month's Knowledge Wealth Series newsletter, and learn more about shifting your thinking from the negative have-to equation to the choose-to option. And you'll also get other great information, including learning how to be a part of my next book and getting information about my latest e-book, Turn Your Book into a Business, so you can learn to write your own book and earn more money from it.

Dumped, fired and evicted. What would you do?

I struck up a friendship with a man I met in 2005 at a speakers' conference. We chatted at the event, and afterward, he began calling to tell me about his attempts to jump-start his speaking career. Of course, as is the case when a friendship develops, the conversation covers things other than business. He told me about his new romance, his job search, his plans to move out of his mom's house and into his own place. Then came news that the girlfriend had kicked him to the curb, he had been fired from the job, the apartment manager had evicted him.

Tough breaks, all.

All while he was trying to build this dynamic speaking career, spreading hope and enlightenment to others.

Unfortunately, that's what often happens on the way to our dreams, or as we're building our lives. It's never a smooth process, where one day we dream and the next day we reach the mountaintop. Instead, we're most likely going to have many good days mixed with a bunch of not great days. If you're like my speaker friend, you may even feel as if everything is coming down on you and your very hope may be threatened.

Through all of this with my friend, I tried to encourage him to keep pressing forward. Not everything I said was what he wanted to hear -- I had to tell him when I thought he was doing something dumb, when I thought he should "man up," even when I thought he was wimping out. But I also told him when I thought he was doing well and when I had ideas that could help him.

And things are working out for him now. After years of seeming to get nowhere with his speaking career, he has called me several times in recent weeks to share news of new speaking gigs he has lined up or is in the process of lining up. In the midst of experiencing these setbacks, he has found a new sense of self and a confidence that can come across in his speaking. Now, he can talk about real-life experiences and touch lives in a way he could not earlier, because he will speak from a place of knowing and overcoming the everyday challenges, and still holding onto that drive.

I'm excited for him! It's been a very long journey. He could have given up anywhere along the way, and most probably would have expected him to do so. At times he had to take smaller steps than he wanted -- accept smaller speaking gigs than he really wanted, take on non-speaking jobs to have money to support his speaking business, etc. -- just to hang in there. It wasn't the glamorous life he envisioned when he started, but he realized he had to go through the tough times to get to the stuff his dreams were made of.

The reason I share this story is to remind you that your journey to the life you dream of having will be a bumpy one, but if you just hang in there, you will get there. And you may find that the tough times (as unwelcome as they are) make you richer; your journey may actually be a tool you can use to touch others in a way you never even imagined.

It's easy to feel discouraged -- or even to feel like a fraud when it seems that you should be further along than you are -- but those are just momentary setbacks. Stay the course. Sometimes you have to take smaller steps just to stay on track. If a smaller step will help you keep moving forward, then take that smaller step. Then when you've gotten your bearings again and are in better shape, take the bigger steps you prefer.

Most see setbacks and rather than taking a detour -- or smaller steps -- they just sit down on the roadside of life and give up altogether. They settle. They settle for relationships that don't fulfill them. They settle for careers that bug them. They settle for lives that are not even a fraction of all they dream. All because of a few tough days.

Whether it's the economy that's gotten you sitting on the roadside of life or your weight issue or a relationship disappointment or any number of other things, now is the time to regroup. Take one step to get back on the journey. Even if that one step is a small one. Just put one foot in front of the other.

And gradually, you'll get closer to where you want to be.

Six tips to overcoming setbacks:
1. Acknowledge the hurt. Disappointment stings.
2. Consider why the problem arose. Looking for answers now will help you avoid repeating the mistake in the future.
3. Have a gut-check moment. Ask yourself if you're ready to move forward. Be honest.
4. Pick a new goal. Find something new to work toward. It can be a revision of the goal that failed, or it can be something altogether new. Just choose something that excites you.
5. Create a plan. Figure out how you will approach this new goal. Enlist the help of others, if you need it. (Even emotional support, such as what I gave my speaker friend, counts.)
6. Get to moving! Nothing pushes aside negative feelings (and the tendency to wallow in self-pity) faster than action.

Speak up for yourself and get things done

In business, we are taught that the customer is always right. I remember in my first job at McDonald's -- a job I absolutely loved -- my manager used to say that. And so I believed it. If the customer wanted something, the customer got it.

But sometimes, the customer is not right. And in those instances, you have to make the situation right -- by standing up for yourself. I recall an incident some time ago when a client kept insisting on changes to drag out a project. It seemed as if no matter what happened, we could not complete it. I wondered if the client was looking to create delays to postpone payment.

After quite a long time of working to accommodate every request, I finally had to stand up. At the risk of losing the client or offending him, I had to address the situation. I had to realize the customer was not always right. And so I told the client that things would be different. We would not do another thing he asked until we were paid. And we wanted to be paid now. The customer grumbled, but he knew I was right. I calmly outlined all of the additional work we had done to meet his needs and how some of his requests were simply non-issues. I explained how this project was long overdue, as was payment. At the end of the discussion, the client had no arguments left, as he and I both knew I was right and he had been creating imaginary problems to delay the project.

The next morning, we had our money. And we were able to wrap up the project very shortly afterward -- to the client's praise! He raved about our work, which was a far cry from what he had said when he was stalling.

So while it's good to believe the customer is always right and to work to meet all reasonable requests, never lose sight of what you are working to accomplish. And never lose sight of the fact that sometimes you must assert yourself so you make the situation right.

If you allow others -- clients, mates, friends, family members -- to run over you and take advantage, you will find yourself in a bad position. This will affect how you feel about yourself and how you interact with the world. What's more, it will compromise the quality of work you are able to produce. So don't be afraid to show what you're made of -- you might just get more respect when you do.

Take charge of your life when you take charge of your circumstances -- at work and at home.

Focus: Key strategy for creating success at work and in life

Image by House Committee on Education and Labor via Flickr

As attention turns to evaluating President Barack Obama's first 100 days on the job, this is also an excellent time to pause to gauge where we are with the things we're working on. Our projects may not be as high-profile as leading the free world, but they can still be important. And how we're doing on them right now will determine how well we do them in the future.

We've talked often in this space about goal achievement and focus. Today, I want to remind you about why focus is important. In chapter three of Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets, I illustrate how total focus can make a total difference in our results. One example for me was my journey to becoming a bestselling author. My original approach was to try to spread myself all over the place -- traveling to book signings, buying space in publications, sending out random e-mails, attending conferences. Nothing seemed to work. But then I began to learn about Internet marketing and sat down to create a very focused marketing plan to tell others about my book. And it worked! I become a bestselling author!

The principles from that are something to help you. Remember, it's not necessary to do every single thing. What's often better is to narrow your focus and do the things that directly impact what you are trying to accomplish. If your goal is to become known as an expert on bird migration, then focus on that area. Forget trying to publish papers or do talks on dogs and cats, snakes and spiders. Focus. And you'll find your reputation growing.

The same goes for the tasks on your to-do list. Delegate where you can and X some things off the list all-together. If you've decided this weeks needs to be about marketing your business, then maybe now is not the time to try to work on distribution channels and product development, too. Those things may be important, but they may not be important for this moment.

What often happens when we fail to focus is that we try to do too much and end up not doing anything all that well. Focus on one thing, then move on to the next. You'll get much better results.

So just as the public is evaluating the President to see how well he is doing, evaluate yourself. Are you getting things done or are you just busy doing a bunch of nothing? If it's the latter, lack of focus may be the problem. Focus on doing one thing well and you'll find you're in a much better position.

What has been your best strategy for getting things done?

Have something interesting to say? Make a little cash off it

Marynn Reid, a writer friend, shares helpful tips you can use to take charge of your financial life. Her blog, alphanista.com, is a resource for strong women everywhere, and today's post does not disappoint.

If you're looking for a new way to bring in some extra cash -- and these days, who isn't? -- then she has some blogging suggestions for you. Share your expertise and get some nice change, too. Maybe you'll have ads on your site. Maybe you'll do affiliate marketing. There are lots of choices.

This blog helps me share my message of empowerment and "just get out there and do it" with others. It's one tool in my arsenal of books, speaking engagements, trainings and others. And I will be adding even more tools soon.

One new tool we're developing is our affiliate marketing program. I'll share just a tiny bit now, and give you the full spiel later. One product coming soon is an e-book that will help business owners, speakers, professionals, authors and others create additional revenue streams using information they already know! It's an e-book that comes from the advice, suggestions and experiences I've shared with clients and others at speaking engagements. Of course you can buy it directly and learn of great ways to add to your bottom line, but you will also have the opportunity to sell it to your friends and contacts and make some extra money, too. As Maryann said, if you're not working on a plan to make money online, you don't know how to make money. I want to show you how.

You don't have to sit around feeling helpless in this economy, wishing someone else would just give you a job, or give you a break or give you a hand up. You can create your own break by being proactive and building your own blog, business, network, group, organization or other setup to bring in more income.

So what ways are you looking to add a few more dollars this year?

You cannot afford self-doubt

Are you feeling a little off your game lately? Maybe you goofed on a recent project or didn't quite reach an important goal. Maybe your star that used to be shining is feeling a bit dim. Whatever the case, you're having a serious crisis of confidence.

I understand where you're coming from; it can happen to anyone. Sometimes when you've been doing pretty well and then hit a dry patch, it can shake you. Or if you have been in a rough place for a while now, that certainly can take its toll. The result can be self-doubt, anxiety, shaky confidence and fear.

I remember really botching a speaking engagement a while back. I went to the stage with excitement and confidence, as usual. But somewhere in the middle of what I was saying, I did something I had never done before. I lost my words. I could not remember the quote. I was blank. Nothing was there. My skin got hot. I started coughing, sputtering all over the place. An auditorium of hundreds of people stared back at me, the graduation speaker. Someone brought me some water, which gave me a moment to recover, but the rhythm was lost. I eventually recovered and went on to finish my talk. Actually, the audience finished it for me, for when I paused after saying something, thunderous applause broke out. The audience clapped me off the stage!

That moment certainly gave me pause and could have become even bigger in my mind but I knew self-doubt could not take hold. I had to remember that I was really good at this and that moment didn't define me. I knew why I lost the quote -- I wasn't absolutely sure of it and should have studied it more. So I prepared better for the next engagement and was back to my usual form. I rocked the house!

So while I understand where you are, I'm here to tell you that you cannot allow yourself to dwell in that place. You must come out of it. That's because self-doubt has a way of eating away at everything you've accomplished and what you're working toward and replacing it with ... nothing. That's right, nothing.

Self-doubt paralyzes you. It makes you question every action and in the midst of the questions, it pins your arms behind your back because you're so afraid to move. You're afraid whatever action you make will be the wrong one.

That's why you can't afford self-doubt. And you've got to dig yourself out of that hole and get back into the game.

Here is how:

1. Remember something you did really well. It's tempting to focus on all the mistakes you've made (and maybe there are plenty) at this time, but do something else instead. Focus on something you rocked at doing. Remember the feeling of pride that washed over you when you did it? Remember the good effect your work produced? Remember how well everything worked out? Bask in the emotions of that moment. Write down what you did, why it worked and what was so good about it.

2. Consider three things you are good at doing. OK, so you might not be good at everything (nobody is), but I know there are some things you do pretty well. Maybe you knit, draw, sing or write well. Maybe you're a great organizer, master of the computer or cook. It doesn't matter whether your list includes things you do at work or in your personal life, just make a list of at least three things you are good at doing.

3. Face the bum deal. Yep, that's right, be honest about what went wrong with the thing you recently goofed at doing. Did you underestimate how much time it would take to complete? Did you not have enough information to make it happen? Did you not give it the proper amount of attention? Write about this. Focus on the actual action and its real reasons for failing and not your emotions. Be matter-of-fact. Write down how these factors can be overcome or addressed.

4. Decide if it's a big deal. Is the thing you failed at a big deal or have you just made it big in your head? If it's truly a big deal, think about how you can fix it now and create a plan to do so, taking into account the reason it failed in the first place (remember, you just wrote about that). If it's not a big deal, consider what new goal you want to tackle and create a plan for making it happen.

5. Set a new goal and deadline. Now, look back at what you wrote about in item four. Focus on the new goal and plan you've just written about. You're either looking at attacking the original goal again or attacking a different one. You've written down a plan for making it happen. Review your plan and attach a realistic deadline.

Get going! The exercise you've just done is a very good way to dispel self-doubt and get your head right again. The first questions helped you refocus on the good you have done and all that you can do, instead of the negative self-doubt. This is important because focusing on your past success reminds you that you have a lot going for you. The remaining questions helped you put your recent failure or slump into perspective, find a way to address it if it is truly something worth addressing. The final part of the exercise was designed to help you get into action by giving you a plan and a deadline.

So use this exercise to kick self-doubt to the curb and get back on track. Do this now, and you're well on your way to another success!

Dare to be a standout | April 13, 2009

I spoke at a college recently where a student told me she was excited about her dream, but she was a little concerned that she would have difficulty reaching it. One of her challenges? She didn't see a lot of people who looked like her in her chosen field. She was good at what she did, but she was not sure how to take it to the level she needed so she could stand out.

This young student's concern is the same concern many people have. Often, we have a dream in mind, but because we don't see examples around us of people who have achieved it, we begin to think it's impossible or unattainable for us.

But that's simply not the case. Whether you're one of the only pursuing a certain path or the only one you know of, consider this: For every first, there had to be someone willing to be an only. Every invention, every new technology, every new idea. Somebody had to risk being the "only" one.

So don't be afraid to be the only. And another thing: You may feel as if you're the only one doing a certain thing, but chances are, you're not. If you don't see other examples in your family, community, city or region, consider that there are others out there, just outside your view. Make it your business to find that community of people, if that's important to you. Finding others like you can give you a confidence boost, provide mentoring opportunities to you and even create opportunities for partnership or exchange of ideas.

You can find others in your field or area by doing a search on the Internet, asking others in related fields and even finding publications that serve people like you. Once you begin looking for others, you'll be amazed at just how connected you truly are.

Whether it's stereotypes that tell us we can't be or do a certain thing or lack of opportunities, too often these barriers separate good people from great dreams.

Whether you find a large community of others pursuing a dream similar to yours or not, stay true to what you are doing. Keep working hard at it and doing your best, even if you don't see others of your gender, race, community or group pursuing it.

Be the standout.

One last thing. Remember that just by pursuing a path of excellence or choosing to be a standout, you will be in the minority. Get used to it.

Feed your mind every day if you want to be strong | April 7, 2009

Sometimes, all you need is to get your head right. But with so many challenges coming from all directions, it can be pretty difficult to clear your mind of the negative and find the desire to do something good.

That's why we all need to feed ourselves with things that nurture us. Just as we must eat food every day to remain strong and healthy, so we must consume motivational, inspirational and informative content on a daily basis.

Doing so allows us to keep our emotional, mental, intellectual and spiritual energy up. And that's important so we are able to face the tough tasks ahead. Consuming inspirational, motivational and informative content gives us confidence, helps us see life in a different way and teaches us to do something better. Of course this blog is a great resource full of inspiration and information, as is the rest of the Knowledge Wealth Series Web site, but there are many other resources to help you on your way.

A neat resource passed on to me earlier has an absolute plethora of inspirational, motivational and informative talks to boost your mood, expand your knowledge and help you get (or stay) on track. Check out 100 Edifying Talks for Self-Improvement and Lifehacking. You'll find talks on a range of topics, including the environment, health, business, arts and culture, relationships and more.

Feeding your mind and spirit doesn't have to be overwhelming. Just find information that's of interest to you and that can help you. Consume a little bit every day and you'll find yourself in a better mood, with a better state of mind. And ultimately, you'll produce better results and enjoy doing it!

Do the thing and then move on | April 3, 2009

A few days ago, some entrepreneurs approached me about participating in one of their new ventures. They said that when they were discussing whom to approach, my name kept coming up. I've worked with none of them before, but they each knew of me and my work.

We had a fascinating meeting, and I truly appreciate the fact that they sought me out. Their idea is great and I believe they have what it takes to make it happen.

I bring this up for one key reason: Sometimes when we are going about our daily work, we just simply never know who is watching. That is why, whether we are doing something grand or something less so, we must do it with a spirit of excellence.

Sometimes when we are in the process of going after a goal or a dream, we can become overwhelmed that things are happening slowly or that nobody even notices us. And so we can be tempted to just go through the motions or to not give it a good shot. But often, it's simply not true that nobody is watching. The thing to remember about pursuing a goal or a dream is that your work is not just about the ultimate destination. It is about the steps along the way. So that means the minor projects and the processes leading to the destination also matter.

Do the work and do it well. And know that each thing you do is building your reputation, your body of work, your company and your legacy.

Pursuing your work or task with a spirit of excellence doesn't necessarily mean laboring over each piece. If you've read Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business or Financial Targets, then you know I don't believe in constantly tinkering or laboring over something more than is necessary. That can often produce, not something that is excellent, but something that started out good but went downhill from there.

A spirit of excellence, in my opinion, means doing something well and with a specific purpose in mind and then releasing it. In other words, work hard on the thing then let it go. Often, we want to keep tinkering and revising and sweating the small stuff, thinking that will make it excellent. Most times, it doesn't. That's just really an excuse to procrastinate.

So instead of constantly revising what you are doing, do it, do it well, then leave it alone and go to the next. To me, that is the true spirit of excellence. One thing won't define you. A body of work will.

When you do that, it allows you to constantly produce good -- even great -- results with a sense of expectancy. You don't dwell on or stress about any one piece of the equation too much because your energy is already on the next.

Then, almost as if unbidden, opportunities will manifest. Reputations will be built. Companies, organizations and groups will grow. All because you chose to operate with a spirit of excellence and move.

You will find people seeking you out, wanting your hand in what they are doing.

Looking for big dreams in action | April 2, 2009

I'm working on my next book, and it's going to be really exciting - and helpful! I can't tell you a lot right now, but I will tell you that it will be something to get you jazzed about your dreams and it'll move you to get off the couch and start working on them, with gusto!

I'm in the research phase so am looking for stories of real people who have taken a big risk -- and have seen it pay off. So if you are someone or know someone who took action on a dream or big goal and it produced an amazing result, then e-mail me at monica@knowledgewealthseries.com. I'd love to hear your story!

Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets was a lot of fun to write. I got a chance to interview some people I think are pretty neat: William Joyce, creator of Rolie Polie Olie book and TV series; Les Brown, internationally known speaker, author and one-time talk show host; Lenora Worth, author of lots of great books; Delano Wilson, who as a young 30-something is making his mark in business as a McDonald's franchise owner; and others. Zoom Power helps readers see the possibilities for themselves. By the time you finish reading Zoom Power, you will have the mindset for success. It is a great motivational tool and includes a practical goal achievement plan to turn that motivation into action.

This new book will go even further and take away your reasons for holding off on your dream. It will give you the mental tools to get going on your dream -- now.

Give yourself the push you need to get over the hump | March 31, 2009

All you can do is all you can do.

That's part of the title of a book by A. L. Williams, founder of a company that later became Primerica. (The full title is All You Can Do Is All You Can Do But All You Can Do Is Enough.)

I wanted to focus on those words today. All you can do is all you can do. That's because it's easy to become full of despair and desperation when we feel that we've been spinning our wheels and nothing is coming of it. We can be tempted to give up. That's the place where too many people end up -- disappointed, discouraged and disillusioned, giving up just before their big victory.

This is the thing: All you can do really is all you can do. And that will be enough. But you've got to make sure that you really are doing all you can do. Often, when we are overwhelmed by a certain process, if we take the time to step back and evaluate it, what we will find is that we really aren't doing all we can do.

For instance, let's say you've been struggling to lose 20 pounds. You've been cutting out the fast food. You've been eating more of the stuff you believe is healthy. But that scale just won't budge.

Well, if you were to look at everything you're doing, you may discover that you're not working out the way you need, or that while you're making healthier eating choices you're not making the best choices overall. Or you may find that you're not sleeping enough or eating too late in the day or any number of other things.

But at first glance, you were convinced you were doing all you could do because you were cutting out fast food and making better food choices.

And with the evaluation of your process, you now see that there is more you can do. So you do it. And it works! The scale moves. You lose the weight.

If you're frustrated with a particular situation in your life right now, honestly ask yourself if you are doing all you can do. If you're broke and unhappy with the level of income you are producing, for instance, is there something else you can do? Is there more training or certification you can get that will make you more valuable in the marketplace? If your business seems stuck at one level and you think you're doing all you can just to maintain, is there one tweak you can make that will produce a difference?

Don't beat yourself up when things truly are out of your control and you have done all you can do. That's all you can do. But if there is something else you can do, then do it. And watch for the result.

Cut yourself slack when you need, but push yourself a bit harder when you must.

Time management author: Say no to one thing to say yes to another

Judy Christie, a good friend and client, is the author of a really useful book titled Hurry Less, Worry Less: 10 Strategies for Living the Life You Long For. In it, she shares great ideas for getting a handle on your day, getting things done and not worrying about the stuff you don't get to right then. I had to take a page from her book this week when I realized my own week was spiraling out of control. With two speaking engagements and an awards ceremony at the start of the week, my time quickly became more pressed than usual as I tried to fit in normal activities, travel and speaking preparation. As if that were not enough, I was sick on Monday.

For a moment, I tried to figure out how I would fit everything in, sick or not. But I decided a better approach would be to take a few tips from Judy's Hurry Less, Worry Less. Judy says say no to one thing so you can say yes to something else. I had to say no to a few things, including a reception in my honor Monday because I was sick and insisting on going would not have helped anyone and could have compromised the rest of my week.

I took a few other things off the to-do list of the past couple of days, including speaking with you through this blog. All of the things I took off my to-do list -- the reception I had been looking forward to attending, blogging, starting on a new project -- helped make the rest of my week better. I was able to properly prepare for the speaking engagements, handle client requests in a timely manner and participate in some other exciting ventures. Oh, and it also allowed me to rest so I could feel better and perform at a top level.

What about you? When your schedule changes unexpectedly or if you find one task needs more attention than originally planned, what do you do? Do you stress about it and pressure yourself to fit it all in, even though doing so helps no one, or do you re-evaluate your priorities and to-do list to see what needs to change?

If you're like lots of people -- and sometimes even me, you struggle with managing your time and fitting "everything" in -- even if it kills you! Well, I'm here to tell you, that's not the best strategy. You may think it shows you're tough or task-oriented, but really, all it shows is that you end up doing too many things, but none of them very well.

I can tell you my week is going a lot better because I took Judy's advice to say no to one thing to say yes to another.

Grab Judy Christie's Hurry Less, Worry Less and find a few strategies to help you get a grip on your day so you get more of what you want done and enjoy your time doing it.

Face your fear and find your own victory | March 23, 2009

When I was in high school on a church trip to Florida, a boy pushed me into the hotel pool and I thought I would drown, as I thrashed about under the water before someone jumped in to drag me to the surface and safety.

That fear stayed with me for many years, though I didn't consciously think I was afraid of drowning. In fact, I tried over and over in college and afterward to learn how to swim. All to no avail. Friends tried to teach me. Even my baby sister, who is 14 years younger than me, tried to teach me. I took a class, thinking maybe it was the amateur instructors who were the problem. But that didn't work, either.

Finally, after years of wanting to learn, but somehow being held hostage by the back-of-the-mind memory of that night I almost drowned, my husband taught me how to swim. And while I felt great being able to swim in the end of the pool where I could stand up if I wanted, he pushed me harder: I had to go to the deep end!

I resisted. I was not at all interested in swimming in water that could cover my head or in water where I could not control my situation. As it was, learning to swim in the shallow end was a big enough feat. I had overcome years of subconscious anxiety. But my husband knew my real victory would be if I could put aside the fear of the deep end of the pool and trust my new-found swimming ability. So he insisted. And finally, after a few days of his insistence, I yielded. I went to the deep end of the pool.

And I swam!

Have you ever been knocked down by something in life? Maybe you felt like it just got the best of you. Maybe it was a failure at work. Maybe it was a failure in school or in a relationship or even business. Whatever the case, the thing that seemed to knock you down really set you back.

Like me, you might have even thought the thing almost killed you. And so you developed a resistance to that thing. You just gave up on it, or didn't even go near it again.

But maybe it's time to give that thing another try. Maybe with more training or more education or more experience, you're in a better position to face the situation and come out on top.

Swimming is now one of my favorite activities. I still have much to learn, but I am so happy to be free of the fear that held me back for so many years. And now that I've been able to manage my fear, I see the benefit swimming provides. It's fun. It's a low impact way to exercise. It's a great time to hang out with my spouse. I've not gotten to swim much lately, but I'm looking forward to getting back to it this summer. I'm so happy my husband insisted that I look beyond my fear.

Facing our fears and overcoming failure isn't something most of us look forward to doing. Instead, we insulate ourselves against repeating those mistakes by refusing to try the thing again or refusing to face new challenges. But if we were to just get back out there, we could find that we've not only managed the fear, but facing the fear could be a chance to create much more joy, abundance, impact or opportunity in our lives. And that is a true victory.

So what victory is fear keeping you from today?

Thinking is good, but action is better | March 20, 2009

It's not your idea that's the problem. It's the fact that you don't do anything with it that's the problem.

One of the comments I hear most often when I am at a speaking engagement or book signing is this: "I want to write a book or I want to start a business, but I just haven't been able to do anything with it. How are you able to write books and run a business?" Usually the person who is asking is someone who has heard me speak or who has read one of my books and now he or she wants to see if I have a magic answer for how to turn ideas into something more.

And the answer as to how I am able to write books or run businesses or do any number of other things is really simple: Because I act. I move on my ideas. It's said that if you were to act on one really good idea a year, you could fundamentally change your life.

So, what's it going to be for you? Will you continue to have really good ideas that you do nothing with? Or will you focus on one idea and push forward?

Lots of people spend countless hours thinking up ideas (or just talking) and none actually doing anything with the ideas. Thinking is great, but what's the use of thinking if you're not going to act upon what you come up with?

All you end up doing then is whining about "Hey, that was my idea!" later when you see the idea executed by someone else.

Think about four ideas you have had within the last year. Then consider what you did with those ideas. Chances are, nothing much has happened. You might have even forgotten about the ideas until now. Are these good ideas that could really be developed? Do you see how one of these ideas could really change things? Maybe you have an idea for a new invention. Maybe you have a concept for a new social organization. Maybe you have the premise of a new book or new business.

A couple of days ago, I encouraged you to get started on your big idea -- recession and all. Now I'm pushing you to move beyond the idea into the implementation. Do it. Now.

Today is Friday. Which means the weekend is coming up. If you're off work for the weekend -- or even if you're not -- why not set aside a little time to actually move on that really great idea you had a little while ago? No more just thinking about it.

Now is the time to do something about it. Put together a proposal. Invite someone to be a mentor. Look for investors. Find a Web site designer. Sign on a ghostwriter. Come up with a budget. Start a Facebook or Yahoo group. Do something to move the idea out of your head and into action.

What could be more important right now than finally moving on your big idea -- or even your dream?

Have a good weekend.

Do the work, if you want the reward - it's just that simple | March 19, 2009

A Facebook friend, Stanice Anderson, set her status today as "What I learned in recovery: 'Losers do what they want to do. Winners do what they have to do.'"

I absolutely love it. And I have to say, it's true. Variations of that quote have been said by others. "Do the things today that others won't do, so you can have the things tomorrow that others won't have," finance author and radio show host Dave Ramsey says when he advises people about improving their finances.

Image via Wikipedia

Award-winning actor Denzel Washington is quoted as saying, "Do what you got to do, so you can do what you want to do."

In my own life and work, I can point to doing the "dirty deeds" as one of the keys to my success. I don't mind making the sacrifice today for a future goal. When I made the decision to leave a good newspaper career to become self-employed and build my own writing business, I made sacrifices along the way: I slept in airports on business trips because I couldn't afford the hotel. I shopped at thrift shops because I needed to put as much money as I could into my business. I lived in a tiny apartment and passed up the spur-of-the-moment social outings in favor of spending that time and money in my business.

In chapter 10 of Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets, I say this: "Going for your dream can be messy work. And it can be difficult. And incredibly unglamorous. You've got to be willing to do the messy things. The difficult things. The unglamorous things.

"Often, the early stages of chasing a dream are about grunt work and sacrifice. When we envision our success, this isn't the stuff we dream of."

But it's the stuff we must do to have what we want. Whether that's losing weight, growing a business, building a career, writing a book, nurturing a relationship. In all those cases, there are things we would prefer not to do -- or to skip right over -- but if we don't do them, we can't get the result we want. Take losing weight, for example. Sure, you'd rather sleep in every morning, but you know that getting up an hour early to hit the gym will help get you to the weight or fitness level you want. In the case of writing a book, you may prefer to veg out in front of the TV and let somebody else's creativity lull you to sleep every night, but you know you must put your behind in the seat and let your own creativity spill out onto the computer screen if the book is to be completed. In the case of business, you may prefer to skip right ahead to the success, but you know you've got to do the grunt work first to get to that level.

When we make the sacrifices and focus on our plans, we often get the results we want. In my case, those early sacrifices meant my business eventually grew to one that allowed me to afford the things I had to give up for a while. Today, my life is richer and my business stronger because I wasn't afraid to make the sacrifices.

That is the thing that separates the successful from the wannabes. The successful don't mind the work. Wannabes run away from it.

What about you? Do you have a goal, but you're not quite up to making the sacrifice for it? Why is that? Is the goal not worth it? Or do you think the sacrifice would be too great? If you have a goal that you're not willing to put the work behind, then it's not really a goal, is it? It's more like a fond wish.

Sacrifice doesn't have to last always. It's often a temporary circumstance to get you where you are going. So if the goal is worth it, consider doing the things that others won't do so you can have the things that others won't have.

You'll be glad you did.

Get going on your big idea now, recession and all | March 18, 2009

No doubt if you've been glued to the TV or newspapers, you're scared witless. You are petrified that your job may be axed next and dread opening your credit card statements because the interest rates have been jacked sky high. As for your home, well, it's probably already gone... If you were to listen to the news.

I believe our economy is having some serious issues. Anybody can see that. In February, we had another 651,000 jobs lost, on top of the 598,000 that disappeared in January and the more than 3 million before that. Record numbers of homes are in foreclosure and credit card companies are jerking around folks by charging ridiculously high interest rates and banks are reducing lines of credit.

But.

I also think the reality of the situation is made all the worse by the perception of the situation. Sure, you can get wrapped up in the stuff the news organizations are saying. But if you do, you'll miss the opportunity to make your own situation better.

I'm not saying don't pay attention to the news about the economy. That would be foolish. But what I am saying is focus not on how bad people tell you it is out there, but on what you can do to make your situation better. Maybe now is the time to put some serious thought behind that business idea you've been toying with for years. Maybe now is the time to brush up on your skills or to learn something new. Maybe now is the time to rethink what you're doing and find smarter ways to do it.

Now is the time to figure out how you can make the most of today's economic downturn. Lots of people are going to come out of this thing in a much better position than they were two years ago. They'll do that by seeing the opportunities, rather than the obstacles. They will develop new businesses. Strength old ones. Create new alliances and partnerships. Find new investments. Develop new inventions. They will find new ways to serve others and make an impact, too.

So don't let the talking heads on TV fill you with such panic and uncertainty that you miss all the things going on now. Look ahead to this time next year. Wouldn't you rather be talking about the great move you made that totally changed your life, rather than lamenting about the time you hid under a rock?

Just to give you a boost, consider that some of the well-known corporations of today started during recessions or tough times. IHOP, MTV, CNN, FedEx, even Microsoft all started when money wasn't flowing freely. And look at where they are now.

I've said it before and I'm saying it again: You can't wait to start hearing good news in the media before you take your cue. The recession will end a lot sooner than you'll hear about it on TV. Get going on making your big change. Now is your time.

Develop a new attitude about work -- it just might save your life | March 16, 2009

Welcome to your Monday.

And, unfortunately, to your heart attack. Research shows that Mondays are the most common day of the week for heart attacks. Certainly some information identifies physiological reasons, but psychology also can play a part.

That's because emotions such as stress, anxiety, dislike and others can cause such distress as to contribute to this traumatic event. Think about it. Does even the thought of going to work -- working with a certain person, handling a certain project, doing a certain assignment -- cause you indigestion?

I remember when I was a waitress at a 24-hour diner. For some reason, I would get a heavy feeling of dread, or even a headache, when it was time to go to work. I'm not sure why I had such trepidation, because I didn't consciously dislike the job all that much. In fact, I liked interacting with customers and getting tips. But for some reason, the closer it got to my 11 p.m. shift, the sicker I seemed to get. I was almost relieved when I was fired.

When you're having a physical reaction to your job, it's time to figure out how to address it. And when you have a negative emotional response, the same holds true. Sure, everyone has some stress at work from time to time, and there are some tasks we prefer not to do. But when we are suffering serious long-term physiological or emotional issues because of our work, that's not normal.

Or healthy.

The stress or drama going on at work is not worth dying for.

There is another piece to this work-related heart attack issue, too. And that is our tendency to glorify being a "workaholic." It does not help our health. I know in our society it has often become a badge of honor to claim to be a workaholic. But really, it's anything but. I know, I've been there, though never did I see it as a badge of honor. As a young entrepreneur when I worked my newspaper job all day, then came home to work my business most of the night, sleep was rare and long days were the norm.

I didn't mind it because I was young, single and really jazzed about my business. But my life is in a different place now. I recognize the importance of balance. Do I still continue to work hard? Of course I do. Running two businesses isn't easy. But just as I work hard and get lots done, I also enjoy time away from work. My husband and I sometimes leave the office to play tennis in the middle of the day, and sometimes racquetball (he plays racquetball way more often than I do). Sometimes I even take naps! There used to be a time when I would not have dared to step away for such, but now, I know getting away isn't just about having fun, it's about recharging. And it's about quality of life.

You need that balance, too. If you don't have balance, it's time to develop a new attitude toward work -- it just might save your life. Whether you're running a business or punching someone else's time clock, consider your work habits. Are you too busy to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner? Do you find yourself working 10, 12, 14-hour or longer days on a regular basis with no down time? Are you finding yourself getting overwhelmed by the demands of your job and you're not sure how to deal with it? Do you find yourself treating your health poorly because you've convinced yourself you are just too busy to do otherwise? Are you sacrificing important relationships because work has taken over your life?

If you answered yes to even one of these questions, it's time to have a reality check. Is your work killing you?

Anna Nicole Smith wasn't able to take charge of her life ... but you can

Prosecutors have outlined nearly 100 instances of how Howard K. Stern and two doctors allegedly conspired to pump former Playboy model Anna Nicole Smith full of highly powerful drugs. Nearly a dozen felony counts broadcast the case against them as the state of California seeks to put them behind bars for a long time for their hand in supplying an addict with drugs.

While this case has lots of attention because of the high-profile people involved -- news networks spent weeks discussing Anna Nicole following her Feb. 8, 2007 death -- prescription drug abuse is a serious epidemic. And it's a symptom of a life seriously out of control.

Whether it's a public figure such as Rush Limbaugh or the person across the street abusing medication, the

impact is the same: prescription drug abuse ruins lives. The ultimate price, of course, is what we saw in Anna Nicole's case: death.

Prescription drug abuse often starts out innocently enough. You get sick or hurt and go to the doctor. She gives you something for the pain. The meds seem to be the only thing to give you any relief. So you take more and more. Seemingly almost before you know it, you're addicted. You go to dangerous lengths to get more drugs -- using fake names to get prescriptions, stealing others' medications.

You can take charge of your life again. It won't be easy, but it is possible. Here are three steps to help you:

The first step is to seek professional help immediately. That is because treatment depends on the type of drug you're addicted to as well as your own circumstances. There are many drug recovery programs available. Start by seeing what's in your own community -- check out the phone book or do a Google search. Do it now. This can't wait another day.

The second step is to find a trusted ally (you may do this one first if you need the support to get you to seek the professional help quickly). This trusted ally can be a spiritual counselor or preacher, solid friend or co-worker. This is some serious stuff you're going through. You need someone who can help you through the period ahead -- someone who will give you tough love when you need it and empathy when it's required.

Another thing you can do to get back on track is to start feeding your emotional needs. Read motivational books and listen to inspirational CDs. This helps you begin to see yourself in a different way, as not just someone who became powerless against pain, but also as someone who has incredible power to do amazing things.

Anna Nicole wasn't able to take charge of her life in the way she needed. Instead, it was claimed by drugs. That does not have to be your fate. Don't let prescription drug abuse run your life. You can take back the control. Today.

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Hope, confidence keys to helping abused see beyond current situation | March 12, 2009

I was the same age or maybe a little older than Rihanna when the guy I was dating dragged me out of his car and across a grassy intramural football field on the campus where I was a student. He and I had gotten into an argument and he wanted me out of his car. He had more important things to do, and I was holding him up with my conversation. He needed to get to the intramural football game. So he jumped out of the car, ran around to my side and snatched me out, then dragged me some distance as I struggled to free myself and onlookers no doubt wondered what to make of the scene.

I don't remember all the details of that incident, only picking myself up from the ground and walking across the campus that night, returning to my dorm and trying to sneak into my room so my sorority sisters and friends did not see the disheveled mess I had become. My hair was all over my head. Grass stains covered my torn shirt. Bruises decorated my upper arm.

The boyfriend and I stayed together.

Domestic abuse is a hot topic these days, as the country buzzes with news and speculation surrounding the alleged abuse Chris Brown inflicted on Rihanna last month when it was reported that he beat and choked her. The fact that they are said to be back together has heightened attention to the case.

I believe the attention to the case can shed some light on domestic violence, and hopefully more people will be educated about it. I believe no one should be in an abusive relationship. And I believe that just because it's the first time we hear of abuse in a particular relationship does not mean it's the first time it has happened. Nor, unfortunately, will it be the last. And that's why we must continue to bring attention to domestic violence.

Because too many people tolerate abuse.

I understand the reasons women stay. Sometimes the women are afraid of what the guys will do to them if they leave. Sometimes the women are hopeful things will change with the men. Sometimes the women remember the good, old days or are swayed by tearful apologies and promises. Sometimes the women blame themselves for the violence. Sometimes, the women feel they have no other options. Sometimes the women think they have no financial resoures without the men. Sometimes ...

The point here is that women stay in abusive situations for many reasons, none of them good. I could tell myself that my boyfriend wasn't wild and angry most of the time, in fact, he was a nice guy. And it wasn't an abusive relationship; it was just an incident that got out of hand. After all, he apologized. And besides, I cared for him. Oh, and maybe if I hadn't said some of the things I said, he wouldn't have had to get so violent. Yes, there are many reasons people stay.

And unfortunately, we've seen the tragic examples of what can happen. Women end up broken, maimed, dead.

They stay because, at some level, they have lost control of their lives. But there is hope. The way to reach a woman who has decided to stay in an abusive situation is to get to her on an emotional level. She has to feel the hope. She has to see that she is worth more than that. That she has it in her to overcome whatever is keeping her there. And that she is the solution to her own situation, and that solution is to make the choice to leave. She has to see that things will get better when she takes charge of her life again. If she doesn't believe the assurances at first, keep at it. Keep feeding her with encouragement, support, love and help. Her life depends on it.

My boyfriend and I eventually broke up and while I'm happy to say I'm a different woman today who knows her worth and sees why a situation like that should never be tolerated, I also understand why it is. People who have not been there don't understand an abused person's motivations for staying. They think it's a simple matter of making a swift exit. And it should be.

But statistics tell us, it isn't. One in four women suffers physical abuse or rape by an intimate partner each year, according to statistics. I personally think that number is higher because not all women report the assaults. And many of those women stay, hoping the violence won't happen again, but knowing somewhere deep inside that it will.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides 24/7 support for people in abusive situations. There are local organizations in many communities that also can help. Many groups out there try to help an abused person get away. Resources are there.

But the person has first got to decide to get out.

And that can be the toughest part.

American Idol represents dreams, new lives | March 11, 2009

I sometimes get a little misty-eyed watching American Idol. I know that sounds goofy, but I have a good reason, honest. I get misty-eyed sometimes when I see someone who has worked so hard and is now getting a chance to follow a life's dream. And in this case, producers often show little vignettes of the contestants' lives so we get to see why these dreams mean so much. We've seen many stories of single parents looking for a better life, youngsters ready to take flight, even spouses singing in memory of their loved ones recently gone.

Just this season, we have Scott MacIntyre, who is blind but who plays the piano with amazing confidence and Lil Rounds, who was a stay-at-home mom and is now chasing the spotlight. We have Danny Gokey, whose wife died shortly before auditions and Michael Sarver, who is hoping his oil-rigging days are over.When I think of things like that and see a singer doing his or her best to make that dream happen, well, yes, it touches me.

That these contestants put themselves out there for rejection, for critique, for hardship is a testament to the dreams in their hearts. Whether you like them or not, you've got to appreciate the spirit of the show: that anyone can take a chance on pursuing a dream. And who knows where that dream will lead!

I always appreciate those who take a chance on their dreams. I'm living my dream of being an author and entrepreneur and creating a bigger vision all the time. But living a dream isn't easy. It takes guts to do it. Maybe that's why I admire those who do. They have made the tough choice to take a chance on themselves.

What about you? How are you coming on your dream? Are you working on it on a daily basis, taking steps to bring it to you? Are you getting right back up after being knocked down, dusting yourself off to give it another shot? Do you see hardships and even rejection as part of the process?

Or do you let tough times -- and even a few bad comments -- convince you your dream isn't worth pursuing?

Expect good things to happen to you | March 10, 2009

Did you wake up this morning looking at the negative side of your equation? Do you feel a little bit like things aren't going your way? Does it seem like everybody else is having a better time than you are?

If so, then I'm writing this especially for you. Spend one minute -- that's right, one -- wrapped in these feelings, whatever they are. I'll pause while you do that.

OK, ready to continue? Now that you've acknowledged and owned the negative feelings, it's time to change your focus. Now, spend five minutes thinking about the good things you have going for you right now (they can be big or small). Write them down.

Then spend another few minutes thinking of all the great ideas you have for addressing one key concern or issue facing you today. For instance, if you're feeling overwhelmed because you want to lose weight but nothing seems to be working, then write down as many (healthy) weight-loss ideas as you can think of. If you're at a loss, browse a respected weight-loss or fitness Web site. If your concern is how to go after a new market in your business or boost income, brainstorm ideas to do that. Write down your ideas. The point here is to see the opportunities to address whatever is bugging you.

Judy Christie, an author friend who also is a Web site client of RootSky Creative, wrote a good book to help you with this. It's called Goodbye Murphy's Law: Whatever Can Go Wrong, God Can Make Right. This book really helps you address those tough, challenging days. Check it out if you want even more help in this area.

The key is to switch your focus to the good of your situation and the opportunities that await you. You've gotten off to a good start, if you did the exercise here. Now spend the rest of today seeking out those opportunities and acting upon them. You'll be surprised what turns up.

Expect good things to happen.

What's standing between you and your goals? | March 9, 2009

I am a big believer in going after what you want. I did it when I up and left a good newspaper job to follow my dream of being an author and entrepreneur. I did it when I ran a Jan. 1 marathon to set the tone for the year ahead. I did it when I took to the stage to share my message of empowerment with a broader audience.

Going after what you want requires a few tools. One of those is your Zoom Power Equation. Your Zoom Power is your ability to pull sharply into focus what you want -- and make it happen.

I give the Zoom Power Equation in chapter two of my book, Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets. Your Zoom Power Equation is this: Focus plus Perseverance equals Zoom Power.

What are you focusing on? If you want to improve your results in life, especially these days, then you've got to focus on that which you want. Focus is what a lot of people miss. They try to do too many things, which means they end up doing an OK job in a lot of different areas, rather than an outstanding job in one area.

The key to reaching your goals is in how you think about them -- and how you approach them. Put into place your Zoom Power Equation and you're well on your way to being a success story!

Use the Zoom Power Equation to create your Zoom Power Plan.

Here is the five-step Zoom Power Plan, taken from chapter two of Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets:

1. Identify the result you want. You've got to be clear about what you are
working toward. If you are hazy about what you're working toward, you'll be hazy
about figuring out if you've reached it.

2. Quantify the result. Tell yourself exactly how much you want to achieve.
Do you want to increase your revenue by 20 percent? Do you want to pay off
$5,000 worth of debt? Do you want to lose 20 pounds?

3. Set a time frame. Give yourself a deadline. A goal without a deadline is
just a flimsy wish. If you don't attach a deadline to your goal, then you're
setting yourself up for failure. You must have something to work toward, and in
a particular amount of time.

4. Write down your goal and deadline. Hold yourself accountable. Don't just
keep it "in your head." A vision is fine, but put it down on paper.
Paper takes it out of your head and brings it into the real world.

5. Create a goal plan. Now that you have a result and date, work back
from there to create a plan for making it all happen. Your plan should include
steps that lead to your ultimate goal. So if it's a big goal you're chasing,
break it down into parts. Check off each success as you go.

What goal will you tackle with your Zoom Power Plan this week?

You can find answers in tough times | March 6, 2009

Times like the current recession this country is experiencing test us all. Difficult times can see us crumble or see us rise to overcome the challenge. Often, the difference in outcome can be traced back to how we see the situation.

We must see this time -- or any difficult time -- as something we can overcome and even emerge from as better. We must see the hope in a situation that otherwise would seem hopeless.

This does not mean we should naively ignore reality or refuse to see the signs of trouble. That would not be wise. But it does mean we should see things as they are, but not worse than they are, and then see how they can be better.

The reason this is important is because seeing how a situation can be better -- seeing the hope of the possibility -- helps us to push forward.

The alternative could be tragic. A recent BusinessWeek story listed the nation's unhappiest cities, with Portland, Oregon as number one. The ranking took into consideration things like crime, divorce, economy, even days of sunshine. Unhappy cities have a higher occurrence of drastic actions taken by people who have been buried under dire circumstances -- foreclosures, divorces, and the ultimate, suicide.

Suicidal thoughts are to be taken seriously. When a person feels so overwhelmed or helpless in a situation that he or she sees that as the only option, drastic actions must be taken. Often, people who are in this position give out signs -- maybe they show signs of depression including changes in eating or sleeping habits and loss of interest in activities; maybe they even express suicidal thoughts. Sometimes they express a general sentiment that life just won't get better.

Suicide is the ultimate act of losing control of one's life. Whether you live in a city that appeared on BusinessWeek's list or not, take stock of those around you. Could they be feeling that their lives are spinning out of control? Or maybe you're the one who feels that way. Get help. Call the national suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-TALK. No matter how this economy is treating you, you can get through it.

If you're not feeling suicidal but are feeling a bit low because of pressing economic, health, career, social or other concerns, one way to improve your disposition and change your outlook is to take an honest look at the situation. Often, we imagine a situation that is worse than the reality. Once you assess the situation, then look at all the possible outcomes if you do not act. Then look at the possible outcomes if you do take action. Once you realize that you can change the situation by doing something, you will gain some sense of control.

You can find answers, even in tough times. Sometimes this means looking around you for insight -- talking to people who have been through it so you get their perspective and learn what worked for them that may work for you, reading books or reputable Web sites that provide solutions. Sometimes it means looking within for insight -- going back to a memory of overcoming a similar challenge, mustering up your strength and will to succeed, looking to your spiritual belief system.

We can't control all the things that happen to us, but we can control how we respond to them. For instance, the company you've worked for the last ten years may have just announced it is laying off you and everyone else in your department. While that may have been an unexpected and unwelcome turn of events that you had no control over, you can control how you will move forward. Maybe you'll begin a search for another job. But will you search within your industry or look for something totally different? Maybe you'll use this opportunity to launch a new business. Maybe you will take some time off to regroup. You control your response.

So if you're going through a rough patch right now, don't hide from what's going on. Face it. Then figure out how you're going to fix it. You're your own solution.