You can find answers in tough times | March 6, 2009

Times like the current recession this country is experiencing test us all. Difficult times can see us crumble or see us rise to overcome the challenge. Often, the difference in outcome can be traced back to how we see the situation.

We must see this time -- or any difficult time -- as something we can overcome and even emerge from as better. We must see the hope in a situation that otherwise would seem hopeless.

This does not mean we should naively ignore reality or refuse to see the signs of trouble. That would not be wise. But it does mean we should see things as they are, but not worse than they are, and then see how they can be better.

The reason this is important is because seeing how a situation can be better -- seeing the hope of the possibility -- helps us to push forward.

The alternative could be tragic. A recent BusinessWeek story listed the nation's unhappiest cities, with Portland, Oregon as number one. The ranking took into consideration things like crime, divorce, economy, even days of sunshine. Unhappy cities have a higher occurrence of drastic actions taken by people who have been buried under dire circumstances -- foreclosures, divorces, and the ultimate, suicide.

Suicidal thoughts are to be taken seriously. When a person feels so overwhelmed or helpless in a situation that he or she sees that as the only option, drastic actions must be taken. Often, people who are in this position give out signs -- maybe they show signs of depression including changes in eating or sleeping habits and loss of interest in activities; maybe they even express suicidal thoughts. Sometimes they express a general sentiment that life just won't get better.

Suicide is the ultimate act of losing control of one's life. Whether you live in a city that appeared on BusinessWeek's list or not, take stock of those around you. Could they be feeling that their lives are spinning out of control? Or maybe you're the one who feels that way. Get help. Call the national suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-TALK. No matter how this economy is treating you, you can get through it.

If you're not feeling suicidal but are feeling a bit low because of pressing economic, health, career, social or other concerns, one way to improve your disposition and change your outlook is to take an honest look at the situation. Often, we imagine a situation that is worse than the reality. Once you assess the situation, then look at all the possible outcomes if you do not act. Then look at the possible outcomes if you do take action. Once you realize that you can change the situation by doing something, you will gain some sense of control.

You can find answers, even in tough times. Sometimes this means looking around you for insight -- talking to people who have been through it so you get their perspective and learn what worked for them that may work for you, reading books or reputable Web sites that provide solutions. Sometimes it means looking within for insight -- going back to a memory of overcoming a similar challenge, mustering up your strength and will to succeed, looking to your spiritual belief system.

We can't control all the things that happen to us, but we can control how we respond to them. For instance, the company you've worked for the last ten years may have just announced it is laying off you and everyone else in your department. While that may have been an unexpected and unwelcome turn of events that you had no control over, you can control how you will move forward. Maybe you'll begin a search for another job. But will you search within your industry or look for something totally different? Maybe you'll use this opportunity to launch a new business. Maybe you will take some time off to regroup. You control your response.

So if you're going through a rough patch right now, don't hide from what's going on. Face it. Then figure out how you're going to fix it. You're your own solution.