Face your fear and find your own victory | March 23, 2009

When I was in high school on a church trip to Florida, a boy pushed me into the hotel pool and I thought I would drown, as I thrashed about under the water before someone jumped in to drag me to the surface and safety.

That fear stayed with me for many years, though I didn't consciously think I was afraid of drowning. In fact, I tried over and over in college and afterward to learn how to swim. All to no avail. Friends tried to teach me. Even my baby sister, who is 14 years younger than me, tried to teach me. I took a class, thinking maybe it was the amateur instructors who were the problem. But that didn't work, either.

Finally, after years of wanting to learn, but somehow being held hostage by the back-of-the-mind memory of that night I almost drowned, my husband taught me how to swim. And while I felt great being able to swim in the end of the pool where I could stand up if I wanted, he pushed me harder: I had to go to the deep end!

I resisted. I was not at all interested in swimming in water that could cover my head or in water where I could not control my situation. As it was, learning to swim in the shallow end was a big enough feat. I had overcome years of subconscious anxiety. But my husband knew my real victory would be if I could put aside the fear of the deep end of the pool and trust my new-found swimming ability. So he insisted. And finally, after a few days of his insistence, I yielded. I went to the deep end of the pool.

And I swam!

Have you ever been knocked down by something in life? Maybe you felt like it just got the best of you. Maybe it was a failure at work. Maybe it was a failure in school or in a relationship or even business. Whatever the case, the thing that seemed to knock you down really set you back.

Like me, you might have even thought the thing almost killed you. And so you developed a resistance to that thing. You just gave up on it, or didn't even go near it again.

But maybe it's time to give that thing another try. Maybe with more training or more education or more experience, you're in a better position to face the situation and come out on top.

Swimming is now one of my favorite activities. I still have much to learn, but I am so happy to be free of the fear that held me back for so many years. And now that I've been able to manage my fear, I see the benefit swimming provides. It's fun. It's a low impact way to exercise. It's a great time to hang out with my spouse. I've not gotten to swim much lately, but I'm looking forward to getting back to it this summer. I'm so happy my husband insisted that I look beyond my fear.

Facing our fears and overcoming failure isn't something most of us look forward to doing. Instead, we insulate ourselves against repeating those mistakes by refusing to try the thing again or refusing to face new challenges. But if we were to just get back out there, we could find that we've not only managed the fear, but facing the fear could be a chance to create much more joy, abundance, impact or opportunity in our lives. And that is a true victory.

So what victory is fear keeping you from today?