Give yourself the push you need to get over the hump | March 31, 2009

All you can do is all you can do.

That's part of the title of a book by A. L. Williams, founder of a company that later became Primerica. (The full title is All You Can Do Is All You Can Do But All You Can Do Is Enough.)

I wanted to focus on those words today. All you can do is all you can do. That's because it's easy to become full of despair and desperation when we feel that we've been spinning our wheels and nothing is coming of it. We can be tempted to give up. That's the place where too many people end up -- disappointed, discouraged and disillusioned, giving up just before their big victory.

This is the thing: All you can do really is all you can do. And that will be enough. But you've got to make sure that you really are doing all you can do. Often, when we are overwhelmed by a certain process, if we take the time to step back and evaluate it, what we will find is that we really aren't doing all we can do.

For instance, let's say you've been struggling to lose 20 pounds. You've been cutting out the fast food. You've been eating more of the stuff you believe is healthy. But that scale just won't budge.

Well, if you were to look at everything you're doing, you may discover that you're not working out the way you need, or that while you're making healthier eating choices you're not making the best choices overall. Or you may find that you're not sleeping enough or eating too late in the day or any number of other things.

But at first glance, you were convinced you were doing all you could do because you were cutting out fast food and making better food choices.

And with the evaluation of your process, you now see that there is more you can do. So you do it. And it works! The scale moves. You lose the weight.

If you're frustrated with a particular situation in your life right now, honestly ask yourself if you are doing all you can do. If you're broke and unhappy with the level of income you are producing, for instance, is there something else you can do? Is there more training or certification you can get that will make you more valuable in the marketplace? If your business seems stuck at one level and you think you're doing all you can just to maintain, is there one tweak you can make that will produce a difference?

Don't beat yourself up when things truly are out of your control and you have done all you can do. That's all you can do. But if there is something else you can do, then do it. And watch for the result.

Cut yourself slack when you need, but push yourself a bit harder when you must.

Time management author: Say no to one thing to say yes to another

Judy Christie, a good friend and client, is the author of a really useful book titled Hurry Less, Worry Less: 10 Strategies for Living the Life You Long For. In it, she shares great ideas for getting a handle on your day, getting things done and not worrying about the stuff you don't get to right then. I had to take a page from her book this week when I realized my own week was spiraling out of control. With two speaking engagements and an awards ceremony at the start of the week, my time quickly became more pressed than usual as I tried to fit in normal activities, travel and speaking preparation. As if that were not enough, I was sick on Monday.

For a moment, I tried to figure out how I would fit everything in, sick or not. But I decided a better approach would be to take a few tips from Judy's Hurry Less, Worry Less. Judy says say no to one thing so you can say yes to something else. I had to say no to a few things, including a reception in my honor Monday because I was sick and insisting on going would not have helped anyone and could have compromised the rest of my week.

I took a few other things off the to-do list of the past couple of days, including speaking with you through this blog. All of the things I took off my to-do list -- the reception I had been looking forward to attending, blogging, starting on a new project -- helped make the rest of my week better. I was able to properly prepare for the speaking engagements, handle client requests in a timely manner and participate in some other exciting ventures. Oh, and it also allowed me to rest so I could feel better and perform at a top level.

What about you? When your schedule changes unexpectedly or if you find one task needs more attention than originally planned, what do you do? Do you stress about it and pressure yourself to fit it all in, even though doing so helps no one, or do you re-evaluate your priorities and to-do list to see what needs to change?

If you're like lots of people -- and sometimes even me, you struggle with managing your time and fitting "everything" in -- even if it kills you! Well, I'm here to tell you, that's not the best strategy. You may think it shows you're tough or task-oriented, but really, all it shows is that you end up doing too many things, but none of them very well.

I can tell you my week is going a lot better because I took Judy's advice to say no to one thing to say yes to another.

Grab Judy Christie's Hurry Less, Worry Less and find a few strategies to help you get a grip on your day so you get more of what you want done and enjoy your time doing it.

Face your fear and find your own victory | March 23, 2009

When I was in high school on a church trip to Florida, a boy pushed me into the hotel pool and I thought I would drown, as I thrashed about under the water before someone jumped in to drag me to the surface and safety.

That fear stayed with me for many years, though I didn't consciously think I was afraid of drowning. In fact, I tried over and over in college and afterward to learn how to swim. All to no avail. Friends tried to teach me. Even my baby sister, who is 14 years younger than me, tried to teach me. I took a class, thinking maybe it was the amateur instructors who were the problem. But that didn't work, either.

Finally, after years of wanting to learn, but somehow being held hostage by the back-of-the-mind memory of that night I almost drowned, my husband taught me how to swim. And while I felt great being able to swim in the end of the pool where I could stand up if I wanted, he pushed me harder: I had to go to the deep end!

I resisted. I was not at all interested in swimming in water that could cover my head or in water where I could not control my situation. As it was, learning to swim in the shallow end was a big enough feat. I had overcome years of subconscious anxiety. But my husband knew my real victory would be if I could put aside the fear of the deep end of the pool and trust my new-found swimming ability. So he insisted. And finally, after a few days of his insistence, I yielded. I went to the deep end of the pool.

And I swam!

Have you ever been knocked down by something in life? Maybe you felt like it just got the best of you. Maybe it was a failure at work. Maybe it was a failure in school or in a relationship or even business. Whatever the case, the thing that seemed to knock you down really set you back.

Like me, you might have even thought the thing almost killed you. And so you developed a resistance to that thing. You just gave up on it, or didn't even go near it again.

But maybe it's time to give that thing another try. Maybe with more training or more education or more experience, you're in a better position to face the situation and come out on top.

Swimming is now one of my favorite activities. I still have much to learn, but I am so happy to be free of the fear that held me back for so many years. And now that I've been able to manage my fear, I see the benefit swimming provides. It's fun. It's a low impact way to exercise. It's a great time to hang out with my spouse. I've not gotten to swim much lately, but I'm looking forward to getting back to it this summer. I'm so happy my husband insisted that I look beyond my fear.

Facing our fears and overcoming failure isn't something most of us look forward to doing. Instead, we insulate ourselves against repeating those mistakes by refusing to try the thing again or refusing to face new challenges. But if we were to just get back out there, we could find that we've not only managed the fear, but facing the fear could be a chance to create much more joy, abundance, impact or opportunity in our lives. And that is a true victory.

So what victory is fear keeping you from today?