You cannot afford self-doubt

Are you feeling a little off your game lately? Maybe you goofed on a recent project or didn't quite reach an important goal. Maybe your star that used to be shining is feeling a bit dim. Whatever the case, you're having a serious crisis of confidence.

I understand where you're coming from; it can happen to anyone. Sometimes when you've been doing pretty well and then hit a dry patch, it can shake you. Or if you have been in a rough place for a while now, that certainly can take its toll. The result can be self-doubt, anxiety, shaky confidence and fear.

I remember really botching a speaking engagement a while back. I went to the stage with excitement and confidence, as usual. But somewhere in the middle of what I was saying, I did something I had never done before. I lost my words. I could not remember the quote. I was blank. Nothing was there. My skin got hot. I started coughing, sputtering all over the place. An auditorium of hundreds of people stared back at me, the graduation speaker. Someone brought me some water, which gave me a moment to recover, but the rhythm was lost. I eventually recovered and went on to finish my talk. Actually, the audience finished it for me, for when I paused after saying something, thunderous applause broke out. The audience clapped me off the stage!

That moment certainly gave me pause and could have become even bigger in my mind but I knew self-doubt could not take hold. I had to remember that I was really good at this and that moment didn't define me. I knew why I lost the quote -- I wasn't absolutely sure of it and should have studied it more. So I prepared better for the next engagement and was back to my usual form. I rocked the house!

So while I understand where you are, I'm here to tell you that you cannot allow yourself to dwell in that place. You must come out of it. That's because self-doubt has a way of eating away at everything you've accomplished and what you're working toward and replacing it with ... nothing. That's right, nothing.

Self-doubt paralyzes you. It makes you question every action and in the midst of the questions, it pins your arms behind your back because you're so afraid to move. You're afraid whatever action you make will be the wrong one.

That's why you can't afford self-doubt. And you've got to dig yourself out of that hole and get back into the game.

Here is how:

1. Remember something you did really well. It's tempting to focus on all the mistakes you've made (and maybe there are plenty) at this time, but do something else instead. Focus on something you rocked at doing. Remember the feeling of pride that washed over you when you did it? Remember the good effect your work produced? Remember how well everything worked out? Bask in the emotions of that moment. Write down what you did, why it worked and what was so good about it.

2. Consider three things you are good at doing. OK, so you might not be good at everything (nobody is), but I know there are some things you do pretty well. Maybe you knit, draw, sing or write well. Maybe you're a great organizer, master of the computer or cook. It doesn't matter whether your list includes things you do at work or in your personal life, just make a list of at least three things you are good at doing.

3. Face the bum deal. Yep, that's right, be honest about what went wrong with the thing you recently goofed at doing. Did you underestimate how much time it would take to complete? Did you not have enough information to make it happen? Did you not give it the proper amount of attention? Write about this. Focus on the actual action and its real reasons for failing and not your emotions. Be matter-of-fact. Write down how these factors can be overcome or addressed.

4. Decide if it's a big deal. Is the thing you failed at a big deal or have you just made it big in your head? If it's truly a big deal, think about how you can fix it now and create a plan to do so, taking into account the reason it failed in the first place (remember, you just wrote about that). If it's not a big deal, consider what new goal you want to tackle and create a plan for making it happen.

5. Set a new goal and deadline. Now, look back at what you wrote about in item four. Focus on the new goal and plan you've just written about. You're either looking at attacking the original goal again or attacking a different one. You've written down a plan for making it happen. Review your plan and attach a realistic deadline.

Get going! The exercise you've just done is a very good way to dispel self-doubt and get your head right again. The first questions helped you refocus on the good you have done and all that you can do, instead of the negative self-doubt. This is important because focusing on your past success reminds you that you have a lot going for you. The remaining questions helped you put your recent failure or slump into perspective, find a way to address it if it is truly something worth addressing. The final part of the exercise was designed to help you get into action by giving you a plan and a deadline.

So use this exercise to kick self-doubt to the curb and get back on track. Do this now, and you're well on your way to another success!

Do the thing and then move on | April 3, 2009

A few days ago, some entrepreneurs approached me about participating in one of their new ventures. They said that when they were discussing whom to approach, my name kept coming up. I've worked with none of them before, but they each knew of me and my work.

We had a fascinating meeting, and I truly appreciate the fact that they sought me out. Their idea is great and I believe they have what it takes to make it happen.

I bring this up for one key reason: Sometimes when we are going about our daily work, we just simply never know who is watching. That is why, whether we are doing something grand or something less so, we must do it with a spirit of excellence.

Sometimes when we are in the process of going after a goal or a dream, we can become overwhelmed that things are happening slowly or that nobody even notices us. And so we can be tempted to just go through the motions or to not give it a good shot. But often, it's simply not true that nobody is watching. The thing to remember about pursuing a goal or a dream is that your work is not just about the ultimate destination. It is about the steps along the way. So that means the minor projects and the processes leading to the destination also matter.

Do the work and do it well. And know that each thing you do is building your reputation, your body of work, your company and your legacy.

Pursuing your work or task with a spirit of excellence doesn't necessarily mean laboring over each piece. If you've read Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business or Financial Targets, then you know I don't believe in constantly tinkering or laboring over something more than is necessary. That can often produce, not something that is excellent, but something that started out good but went downhill from there.

A spirit of excellence, in my opinion, means doing something well and with a specific purpose in mind and then releasing it. In other words, work hard on the thing then let it go. Often, we want to keep tinkering and revising and sweating the small stuff, thinking that will make it excellent. Most times, it doesn't. That's just really an excuse to procrastinate.

So instead of constantly revising what you are doing, do it, do it well, then leave it alone and go to the next. To me, that is the true spirit of excellence. One thing won't define you. A body of work will.

When you do that, it allows you to constantly produce good -- even great -- results with a sense of expectancy. You don't dwell on or stress about any one piece of the equation too much because your energy is already on the next.

Then, almost as if unbidden, opportunities will manifest. Reputations will be built. Companies, organizations and groups will grow. All because you chose to operate with a spirit of excellence and move.

You will find people seeking you out, wanting your hand in what they are doing.

Looking for big dreams in action | April 2, 2009

I'm working on my next book, and it's going to be really exciting - and helpful! I can't tell you a lot right now, but I will tell you that it will be something to get you jazzed about your dreams and it'll move you to get off the couch and start working on them, with gusto!

I'm in the research phase so am looking for stories of real people who have taken a big risk -- and have seen it pay off. So if you are someone or know someone who took action on a dream or big goal and it produced an amazing result, then e-mail me at monica@knowledgewealthseries.com. I'd love to hear your story!

Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets was a lot of fun to write. I got a chance to interview some people I think are pretty neat: William Joyce, creator of Rolie Polie Olie book and TV series; Les Brown, internationally known speaker, author and one-time talk show host; Lenora Worth, author of lots of great books; Delano Wilson, who as a young 30-something is making his mark in business as a McDonald's franchise owner; and others. Zoom Power helps readers see the possibilities for themselves. By the time you finish reading Zoom Power, you will have the mindset for success. It is a great motivational tool and includes a practical goal achievement plan to turn that motivation into action.

This new book will go even further and take away your reasons for holding off on your dream. It will give you the mental tools to get going on your dream -- now.

Face your fear and find your own victory | March 23, 2009

When I was in high school on a church trip to Florida, a boy pushed me into the hotel pool and I thought I would drown, as I thrashed about under the water before someone jumped in to drag me to the surface and safety.

That fear stayed with me for many years, though I didn't consciously think I was afraid of drowning. In fact, I tried over and over in college and afterward to learn how to swim. All to no avail. Friends tried to teach me. Even my baby sister, who is 14 years younger than me, tried to teach me. I took a class, thinking maybe it was the amateur instructors who were the problem. But that didn't work, either.

Finally, after years of wanting to learn, but somehow being held hostage by the back-of-the-mind memory of that night I almost drowned, my husband taught me how to swim. And while I felt great being able to swim in the end of the pool where I could stand up if I wanted, he pushed me harder: I had to go to the deep end!

I resisted. I was not at all interested in swimming in water that could cover my head or in water where I could not control my situation. As it was, learning to swim in the shallow end was a big enough feat. I had overcome years of subconscious anxiety. But my husband knew my real victory would be if I could put aside the fear of the deep end of the pool and trust my new-found swimming ability. So he insisted. And finally, after a few days of his insistence, I yielded. I went to the deep end of the pool.

And I swam!

Have you ever been knocked down by something in life? Maybe you felt like it just got the best of you. Maybe it was a failure at work. Maybe it was a failure in school or in a relationship or even business. Whatever the case, the thing that seemed to knock you down really set you back.

Like me, you might have even thought the thing almost killed you. And so you developed a resistance to that thing. You just gave up on it, or didn't even go near it again.

But maybe it's time to give that thing another try. Maybe with more training or more education or more experience, you're in a better position to face the situation and come out on top.

Swimming is now one of my favorite activities. I still have much to learn, but I am so happy to be free of the fear that held me back for so many years. And now that I've been able to manage my fear, I see the benefit swimming provides. It's fun. It's a low impact way to exercise. It's a great time to hang out with my spouse. I've not gotten to swim much lately, but I'm looking forward to getting back to it this summer. I'm so happy my husband insisted that I look beyond my fear.

Facing our fears and overcoming failure isn't something most of us look forward to doing. Instead, we insulate ourselves against repeating those mistakes by refusing to try the thing again or refusing to face new challenges. But if we were to just get back out there, we could find that we've not only managed the fear, but facing the fear could be a chance to create much more joy, abundance, impact or opportunity in our lives. And that is a true victory.

So what victory is fear keeping you from today?

Thinking is good, but action is better | March 20, 2009

It's not your idea that's the problem. It's the fact that you don't do anything with it that's the problem.

One of the comments I hear most often when I am at a speaking engagement or book signing is this: "I want to write a book or I want to start a business, but I just haven't been able to do anything with it. How are you able to write books and run a business?" Usually the person who is asking is someone who has heard me speak or who has read one of my books and now he or she wants to see if I have a magic answer for how to turn ideas into something more.

And the answer as to how I am able to write books or run businesses or do any number of other things is really simple: Because I act. I move on my ideas. It's said that if you were to act on one really good idea a year, you could fundamentally change your life.

So, what's it going to be for you? Will you continue to have really good ideas that you do nothing with? Or will you focus on one idea and push forward?

Lots of people spend countless hours thinking up ideas (or just talking) and none actually doing anything with the ideas. Thinking is great, but what's the use of thinking if you're not going to act upon what you come up with?

All you end up doing then is whining about "Hey, that was my idea!" later when you see the idea executed by someone else.

Think about four ideas you have had within the last year. Then consider what you did with those ideas. Chances are, nothing much has happened. You might have even forgotten about the ideas until now. Are these good ideas that could really be developed? Do you see how one of these ideas could really change things? Maybe you have an idea for a new invention. Maybe you have a concept for a new social organization. Maybe you have the premise of a new book or new business.

A couple of days ago, I encouraged you to get started on your big idea -- recession and all. Now I'm pushing you to move beyond the idea into the implementation. Do it. Now.

Today is Friday. Which means the weekend is coming up. If you're off work for the weekend -- or even if you're not -- why not set aside a little time to actually move on that really great idea you had a little while ago? No more just thinking about it.

Now is the time to do something about it. Put together a proposal. Invite someone to be a mentor. Look for investors. Find a Web site designer. Sign on a ghostwriter. Come up with a budget. Start a Facebook or Yahoo group. Do something to move the idea out of your head and into action.

What could be more important right now than finally moving on your big idea -- or even your dream?

Have a good weekend.

Expect good things to happen to you | March 10, 2009

Did you wake up this morning looking at the negative side of your equation? Do you feel a little bit like things aren't going your way? Does it seem like everybody else is having a better time than you are?

If so, then I'm writing this especially for you. Spend one minute -- that's right, one -- wrapped in these feelings, whatever they are. I'll pause while you do that.

OK, ready to continue? Now that you've acknowledged and owned the negative feelings, it's time to change your focus. Now, spend five minutes thinking about the good things you have going for you right now (they can be big or small). Write them down.

Then spend another few minutes thinking of all the great ideas you have for addressing one key concern or issue facing you today. For instance, if you're feeling overwhelmed because you want to lose weight but nothing seems to be working, then write down as many (healthy) weight-loss ideas as you can think of. If you're at a loss, browse a respected weight-loss or fitness Web site. If your concern is how to go after a new market in your business or boost income, brainstorm ideas to do that. Write down your ideas. The point here is to see the opportunities to address whatever is bugging you.

Judy Christie, an author friend who also is a Web site client of RootSky Creative, wrote a good book to help you with this. It's called Goodbye Murphy's Law: Whatever Can Go Wrong, God Can Make Right. This book really helps you address those tough, challenging days. Check it out if you want even more help in this area.

The key is to switch your focus to the good of your situation and the opportunities that await you. You've gotten off to a good start, if you did the exercise here. Now spend the rest of today seeking out those opportunities and acting upon them. You'll be surprised what turns up.

Expect good things to happen.

What's standing between you and your goals? | March 9, 2009

I am a big believer in going after what you want. I did it when I up and left a good newspaper job to follow my dream of being an author and entrepreneur. I did it when I ran a Jan. 1 marathon to set the tone for the year ahead. I did it when I took to the stage to share my message of empowerment with a broader audience.

Going after what you want requires a few tools. One of those is your Zoom Power Equation. Your Zoom Power is your ability to pull sharply into focus what you want -- and make it happen.

I give the Zoom Power Equation in chapter two of my book, Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets. Your Zoom Power Equation is this: Focus plus Perseverance equals Zoom Power.

What are you focusing on? If you want to improve your results in life, especially these days, then you've got to focus on that which you want. Focus is what a lot of people miss. They try to do too many things, which means they end up doing an OK job in a lot of different areas, rather than an outstanding job in one area.

The key to reaching your goals is in how you think about them -- and how you approach them. Put into place your Zoom Power Equation and you're well on your way to being a success story!

Use the Zoom Power Equation to create your Zoom Power Plan.

Here is the five-step Zoom Power Plan, taken from chapter two of Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets:

1. Identify the result you want. You've got to be clear about what you are
working toward. If you are hazy about what you're working toward, you'll be hazy
about figuring out if you've reached it.

2. Quantify the result. Tell yourself exactly how much you want to achieve.
Do you want to increase your revenue by 20 percent? Do you want to pay off
$5,000 worth of debt? Do you want to lose 20 pounds?

3. Set a time frame. Give yourself a deadline. A goal without a deadline is
just a flimsy wish. If you don't attach a deadline to your goal, then you're
setting yourself up for failure. You must have something to work toward, and in
a particular amount of time.

4. Write down your goal and deadline. Hold yourself accountable. Don't just
keep it "in your head." A vision is fine, but put it down on paper.
Paper takes it out of your head and brings it into the real world.

5. Create a goal plan. Now that you have a result and date, work back
from there to create a plan for making it all happen. Your plan should include
steps that lead to your ultimate goal. So if it's a big goal you're chasing,
break it down into parts. Check off each success as you go.

What goal will you tackle with your Zoom Power Plan this week?

Focus on your race, not your neighbor’s | February 24, 2009

If you want to achieve a particular goal, you’ve got to zoom in on that one. Forget what the person next to you is doing. When you zoom in on something, you focus on it. It comes into sharp view. And that is what creates the power. I share the simple Zoom Power Equation in my book, Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets. Once you learn how to apply zoom power to what you do, you will see an increase in the results you produce. You will be able to lose the weight, write the book, launch the business, master the subject, whatever it is you want. But you’ve got to have focus — zoom power.

A lack of focus is the reason so many people produce subpar results, or less than what they want. It’s because they are too busy looking at what others are doing. And they are trying to do too much. The cliche “spread too thin” really is true. If you are stretching yourself in an unreasonable way, you may touch a lot of things, but not leave much of an impression.

Entrepreneur Alynetta Beck wrote an interesting blog post about our views of success. And she has a point: Many people base their success on what others do, and so they are always left disappointed. So decide to focus on what you truly want and what’s important to you. And create your own definition of success. Then zoom in on making it happen.

You’ll produce a lot better result that way.

Get the yucky thing done first | February 24, 2009

Take charge tip of the day: Get the yucky thing done first. You’ve procrastinated long enough and have made every excuse you can think of. That thing on your to-do list — you know, the one you really dread doing — isn’t going to go away. And it’ll sap your energy until you do it.

So do it. Do it or take it off the list, it’s just that simple.

Many times we put things on our to-do lists that are important but they are dreadful — maybe they aren’t all that interesting or exciting or perhaps they scare us a little. But if we don’t tackle the stuff we don’t want to do, we can’t enjoy the stuff we love doing.

I’ve been able to produce many good results, and it’s because I know the power of just jumping in and doing a thing. Some people look at the books I’ve written or the business I’ve built and say, “Must be nice…” Yeah, it is. And it can be nice for you, too. If you just decide to do.

I didn’t get any of the results I’ve had just because I’m so special and could sit back and watch things fall into place. Nor did I get them because I was content to wish for things to happen. I had to do it the old fashioned way. By putting in the time, and doing even the things I wasn’t all that excited about doing.

There is a quote that shows up in many forms, but it’s basically this: “Do the things today that others won’t do so you can have the things tomorrow that others won’t have.”

Most folks will keep putting off the important things and focusing on the easier but not all that impactful things. And the result is they never produce the results they want or are capable of producing.

So tackle that thing on your to-do list that you’ve been avoiding. If you can’t bear to think about doing the whole thing in one go, take it in doses. Just decide you’ll spend 20 or 30 minutes on it today, or you’ll do a certain number of repetitions or whatever is appropriate. Then tomorrow, tackle it again.

The point is to MOVE on it. Now get going.

Success is about time, not talent | February 18, 2009

I spoke at Texas A & M University Corpus Christi earlier this week about Greatness in You. The aim was to give students the confidence to know they can achieve extraordinary results and to help them develop the right mindset to make goals happen.

After the presentation, one student shared this feedback: “It helped me learn that to be great in the field I want to go into, I have to stick with it. That is hard for me.”

I appreciate this student’s honesty. I think his challenge is one a lot of people face. Like him, many people have a hard time sticking to tasks, so they give up on their hopes, goals, dreams and aspirations. But the key to success is hanging in there. It’s not about how talented you are or how smart. It’s about how committed.

I spoke about something called the Rule of 10 to illustrate the point that real success takes a true commitment to the task at hand. The Rule of 10 says that it takes about 10 years of doing something to become top-level. And often that ten-year rule is a minimum. For some fields, it can take 20 or 30 years. When we look at it that way, we realize greatness isn’t as much about talent as it is about time. And most folks don’t want to invest the time.

Michael Phelps didn’t win eight gold medals in the 2008 Olympics because he was a born swimmer. He won because he put in the time, hour after hour, day after day, swimming the same drills over and over again. He started swimming at age 7. At age 23, he was labeled the greatest Olympian.

Tiger Woods started playing around with golf clubs before he was 2. Sixteen years later, he became the youngest person to win the amateur champioinship. Again, he didn’t become top-class because he was born knowing how to play golf. He became top-class because he put the time into it.

You don’t have to be the most talented to be great. You just have to be the one most willing to put in the time. Consider Jerry Rice, who was turned down by more than a dozen football teams, but because he kept working and putting in the time, he is now considered one of the best wide receivers ever to have played the game.

You may know some pretty talented people who never really lived up to their true potential. A big reason may be because they weren’t willing to put in the time to go from good to great.

Look at any of your favorite athletes, musicians, businessmen or others you admire. Chances are, you’ll see it wasn’t just talent that got them where they are. It was time.

So you’ve got to wrap your mind around your success. If you want to perform at a truly high level, you’ve got to be willing to stick to it.

Success isn’t just about talent. It’s about time. Can you do the time?