Anna Nicole Smith wasn't able to take charge of her life ... but you can

Prosecutors have outlined nearly 100 instances of how Howard K. Stern and two doctors allegedly conspired to pump former Playboy model Anna Nicole Smith full of highly powerful drugs. Nearly a dozen felony counts broadcast the case against them as the state of California seeks to put them behind bars for a long time for their hand in supplying an addict with drugs.

While this case has lots of attention because of the high-profile people involved -- news networks spent weeks discussing Anna Nicole following her Feb. 8, 2007 death -- prescription drug abuse is a serious epidemic. And it's a symptom of a life seriously out of control.

Whether it's a public figure such as Rush Limbaugh or the person across the street abusing medication, the

impact is the same: prescription drug abuse ruins lives. The ultimate price, of course, is what we saw in Anna Nicole's case: death.

Prescription drug abuse often starts out innocently enough. You get sick or hurt and go to the doctor. She gives you something for the pain. The meds seem to be the only thing to give you any relief. So you take more and more. Seemingly almost before you know it, you're addicted. You go to dangerous lengths to get more drugs -- using fake names to get prescriptions, stealing others' medications.

You can take charge of your life again. It won't be easy, but it is possible. Here are three steps to help you:

The first step is to seek professional help immediately. That is because treatment depends on the type of drug you're addicted to as well as your own circumstances. There are many drug recovery programs available. Start by seeing what's in your own community -- check out the phone book or do a Google search. Do it now. This can't wait another day.

The second step is to find a trusted ally (you may do this one first if you need the support to get you to seek the professional help quickly). This trusted ally can be a spiritual counselor or preacher, solid friend or co-worker. This is some serious stuff you're going through. You need someone who can help you through the period ahead -- someone who will give you tough love when you need it and empathy when it's required.

Another thing you can do to get back on track is to start feeding your emotional needs. Read motivational books and listen to inspirational CDs. This helps you begin to see yourself in a different way, as not just someone who became powerless against pain, but also as someone who has incredible power to do amazing things.

Anna Nicole wasn't able to take charge of her life in the way she needed. Instead, it was claimed by drugs. That does not have to be your fate. Don't let prescription drug abuse run your life. You can take back the control. Today.

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Hope, confidence keys to helping abused see beyond current situation | March 12, 2009

I was the same age or maybe a little older than Rihanna when the guy I was dating dragged me out of his car and across a grassy intramural football field on the campus where I was a student. He and I had gotten into an argument and he wanted me out of his car. He had more important things to do, and I was holding him up with my conversation. He needed to get to the intramural football game. So he jumped out of the car, ran around to my side and snatched me out, then dragged me some distance as I struggled to free myself and onlookers no doubt wondered what to make of the scene.

I don't remember all the details of that incident, only picking myself up from the ground and walking across the campus that night, returning to my dorm and trying to sneak into my room so my sorority sisters and friends did not see the disheveled mess I had become. My hair was all over my head. Grass stains covered my torn shirt. Bruises decorated my upper arm.

The boyfriend and I stayed together.

Domestic abuse is a hot topic these days, as the country buzzes with news and speculation surrounding the alleged abuse Chris Brown inflicted on Rihanna last month when it was reported that he beat and choked her. The fact that they are said to be back together has heightened attention to the case.

I believe the attention to the case can shed some light on domestic violence, and hopefully more people will be educated about it. I believe no one should be in an abusive relationship. And I believe that just because it's the first time we hear of abuse in a particular relationship does not mean it's the first time it has happened. Nor, unfortunately, will it be the last. And that's why we must continue to bring attention to domestic violence.

Because too many people tolerate abuse.

I understand the reasons women stay. Sometimes the women are afraid of what the guys will do to them if they leave. Sometimes the women are hopeful things will change with the men. Sometimes the women remember the good, old days or are swayed by tearful apologies and promises. Sometimes the women blame themselves for the violence. Sometimes, the women feel they have no other options. Sometimes the women think they have no financial resoures without the men. Sometimes ...

The point here is that women stay in abusive situations for many reasons, none of them good. I could tell myself that my boyfriend wasn't wild and angry most of the time, in fact, he was a nice guy. And it wasn't an abusive relationship; it was just an incident that got out of hand. After all, he apologized. And besides, I cared for him. Oh, and maybe if I hadn't said some of the things I said, he wouldn't have had to get so violent. Yes, there are many reasons people stay.

And unfortunately, we've seen the tragic examples of what can happen. Women end up broken, maimed, dead.

They stay because, at some level, they have lost control of their lives. But there is hope. The way to reach a woman who has decided to stay in an abusive situation is to get to her on an emotional level. She has to feel the hope. She has to see that she is worth more than that. That she has it in her to overcome whatever is keeping her there. And that she is the solution to her own situation, and that solution is to make the choice to leave. She has to see that things will get better when she takes charge of her life again. If she doesn't believe the assurances at first, keep at it. Keep feeding her with encouragement, support, love and help. Her life depends on it.

My boyfriend and I eventually broke up and while I'm happy to say I'm a different woman today who knows her worth and sees why a situation like that should never be tolerated, I also understand why it is. People who have not been there don't understand an abused person's motivations for staying. They think it's a simple matter of making a swift exit. And it should be.

But statistics tell us, it isn't. One in four women suffers physical abuse or rape by an intimate partner each year, according to statistics. I personally think that number is higher because not all women report the assaults. And many of those women stay, hoping the violence won't happen again, but knowing somewhere deep inside that it will.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides 24/7 support for people in abusive situations. There are local organizations in many communities that also can help. Many groups out there try to help an abused person get away. Resources are there.

But the person has first got to decide to get out.

And that can be the toughest part.

American Idol represents dreams, new lives | March 11, 2009

I sometimes get a little misty-eyed watching American Idol. I know that sounds goofy, but I have a good reason, honest. I get misty-eyed sometimes when I see someone who has worked so hard and is now getting a chance to follow a life's dream. And in this case, producers often show little vignettes of the contestants' lives so we get to see why these dreams mean so much. We've seen many stories of single parents looking for a better life, youngsters ready to take flight, even spouses singing in memory of their loved ones recently gone.

Just this season, we have Scott MacIntyre, who is blind but who plays the piano with amazing confidence and Lil Rounds, who was a stay-at-home mom and is now chasing the spotlight. We have Danny Gokey, whose wife died shortly before auditions and Michael Sarver, who is hoping his oil-rigging days are over.When I think of things like that and see a singer doing his or her best to make that dream happen, well, yes, it touches me.

That these contestants put themselves out there for rejection, for critique, for hardship is a testament to the dreams in their hearts. Whether you like them or not, you've got to appreciate the spirit of the show: that anyone can take a chance on pursuing a dream. And who knows where that dream will lead!

I always appreciate those who take a chance on their dreams. I'm living my dream of being an author and entrepreneur and creating a bigger vision all the time. But living a dream isn't easy. It takes guts to do it. Maybe that's why I admire those who do. They have made the tough choice to take a chance on themselves.

What about you? How are you coming on your dream? Are you working on it on a daily basis, taking steps to bring it to you? Are you getting right back up after being knocked down, dusting yourself off to give it another shot? Do you see hardships and even rejection as part of the process?

Or do you let tough times -- and even a few bad comments -- convince you your dream isn't worth pursuing?